Eric Idle OnlineMy Life

The Queen of Mean

By , January 17, 2013 7:26 am

I found some more lyrics from an uncompleted musical.


The Queen of Mean


I’m the King of Gossip

I’m the Queen of Mean

Though I’m not the worst one

I’m the first one on the scene

I dish the dirt on those who flirt

Have implants or new teeth

I pull back the red carpet

And reveal what’s underneath


I tell you all who’s screwing who

Who’s doing what with whose

Which dope likes smoke

Who’s doing coke,

Who’s rude about the Jews.

If I wasn’t here you’d miss me

I sniff you like a dog

Be careful and don’t diss me

Or you’ll turn up in my blog.


People in show business

Aren’t the same as you and me

They’re rich assholes

Who sell their souls

To get their face lifts on TV

To have their pictures published

Looking skinny by the sea

And for that they all depend

On bitchy little me.


I ferret out the gossip

I’m deep throat,  a spy, a mole.

Celebrities down on their knees,

Exposure is my goal.

So beware because I’m out there

Stalking the A list

I’m an un spin doctor

A show biz proctologist


You can learn more about a Star

Than the half-truths sold by their PR

Duck me if you’re under stress

Suck in the sweet smell of excess

Fuck me and you’re in the press

For I’m the Queen of Mean.


c) Rutsongs

2/17/2009.  From Closure 4th Draft.




Comments are closed