{"id":249,"date":"2012-11-11T10:17:57","date_gmt":"2012-11-11T18:17:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/?p=249"},"modified":"2012-11-11T10:20:16","modified_gmt":"2012-11-11T18:20:16","slug":"how-will-you-spend-dick-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/how-will-you-spend-dick-day\/","title":{"rendered":"How will you spend Dick Day?"},"content":{"rendered":"

We all know Tuesday is Dick Day, one of the oldest of all the Holidays, and many of you will be asking yourselves How shall I celebrate Dick?\u00a0 What has Dick done for me this year?\u00a0\u00a0 Should I encourage friends to come over for a Dick Day Party or should I throw a Dick Day Dinner?\u00a0 The answer is Yes but be careful<\/em>.\u00a0\u00a0 Alcohol and antlers do not mix.<\/p>\n

Here are a few \u201ctips\u201d to make your Dick Day go with a Bang.<\/p>\n

You may send Dick Day cards, or wear Dick Day Shirts, or dress up and surprise your friends before Dawn with the traditional \u201cOy mate it\u2019s Dick Day\u201d greeting, where you bare your buttocks to their doorway, but do be careful: antlers can be painful.<\/p>\n

If you want some handy tips, Martha Stewart\u2019s \u201cA weekend of Dick in the Hamptons\u201d is a dandy guide to this holiday.\u00a0 Martha finds Dick \u201ca bit of a handful.\u00a0\u00a0 So many people expect too much\u201d she says, \u201cthat it can often be disappointing.\u00a0 The secret is in preparation,\u201d she says and Martha has a secret preparation that helps.<\/p>\n

\u201cSpotted Dick is a traditional British food,\u201d says Martha and\u00a0 \u201cI have Spotted Dick this morning.\u201d<\/p>\n

Martha shares this recipe and thousands of others from around the world.\u00a0 \u201cPeople celebrate with all kinds of traditional foodstuffs:\u00a0 Coq au vin in France, Potted Dick in Oslo, Peking Dick in China, and in Spain, Paella with antlers.\u201d<\/p>\n

Historians disagree as to the origins of Dick Day, which has been celebrated for centuries with traditional dances, odd songs, and peculiar foodstuffs.\u00a0 Some believe it was the Vikings who regularly invaded the British Isles in search of a game of Bridge.\u00a0 \u201cIt\u2019s Dick Day Schmucks\u201d they would yell in Vikingese stepping ashore with swords in their other hands; and Dick Day is still celebrated in Scandinavia, by bringing out the Dick Stick, and using it for a dance with antlers.<\/p>\n

\u201cBist du Dik ou Bist Du Doek? \u201c is the traditional chant which roughly translated means \u201cAre You Dick or Are you Duck?\u201d<\/p>\n

If you answer \u201cI am Dick\u201d<\/p>\n

Then they will hit you with their stick<\/p>\n

But if you answer \u201cI am Duck\u201d<\/p>\n

Then they sing \u201cYou\u2019re out of luck!\u201d\u00a0 and hit you with their stick.<\/p>\n

Nobody knows why.<\/p>\n

In St. Petersburg they dance around a Pole (or Latvian) slapping each other with Dicksticks,\u00a0 or Schlappeschticks, (thought to be the origin of slapstick.)\u00a0 Again antlers may be involved.<\/p>\n

In Cumberland people race through the streets wearing blue bells and singing the traditional Dick Song: \u201cBring out your Dick!\u201d<\/p>\n

If you have no Richard in the house you must say<\/p>\n

\u201cMove along for one thing\u2019s clear<\/p>\n

We have no wee Dickie here\u201d<\/p>\n

And then you must offer them porridge.<\/p>\n

In Poland on Dick Day people hide a spare pair of glasses in a cellar or closet, to keep away short sighted evil spirits.<\/p>\n

In Catholic Spain there is a traditional display of Bell ringing followed by hand wringing.<\/p>\n

In Iceland people spend Dick Day getting warm. Dick cake is still cooked in Edinburgh and handed out to passers-by willy nilly, while nearby Glaswegians give each other hangovers on Dickmanay, for nothing says Dick quicker than alcohol.<\/p>\n

In Norfolk young girls chant<\/p>\n

“O I am sick of Dick<\/p>\n

Give me a Peter or a Thomas quick!”<\/p>\n

before swallowing the traditional Dick Drink (a mixture of Pims Cup and petrol) and playing traditional games like Bobbing for Bananas or Pin The Tail on the Transvestite.<\/p>\n

There are too, traditional Dick Day jokes.\u00a0 These two are my favourites.<\/p>\n

1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Are you a Dick?<\/p>\n

Yes<\/p>\n

Oh.\u00a0 ha ha.<\/p>\n

And the second, almost as funny.<\/p>\n

2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Are you a Dick?<\/p>\n

No<\/p>\n

Oh.\u00a0 Pity.<\/p>\n

These jokes never tire.<\/p>\n

In Nevada at the famous Burning Dick festival they will torch replicas of famous Dicks.\u00a0 Here are the most popular from last year<\/p>\n

1)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u00a0Richard Simmons<\/p>\n

2)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \u201cTricky Dickie\u201d Nixon<\/p>\n

3)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Little Richard<\/p>\n

4)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Keith Richards<\/p>\n

5)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Dick Cavett<\/p>\n

6)\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Moby Dick<\/p>\n

Again antlers can be involved.\u00a0 But do be careful: Marriage and antlers do not mix.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

This week celebrate Dick Day by downloading What About Dick?<\/em><\/strong> Eric Idle\u2019s new comedy musical thing with Russell Brand, Billy Connolly, Tim Curry, Eric Idle, Eddie Izzard, Jane Leeves, Jim Piddock, Tracey Ullman, and Sophie Winkelman available for only six bucks from Whataboutdick.com<\/em><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

We all know Tuesday is Dick Day, one of the oldest of all the Holidays, and many of you will be asking yourselves How shall I celebrate Dick?\u00a0 What has Dick done for me this year?\u00a0\u00a0 Should I encourage friends to come over for a Dick Day Party or should I throw a Dick Day […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-249","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=249"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":252,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/249\/revisions\/252"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}