I always say there is no such thing as bad work, only unfinished work.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m not sure if that\u2019s true but I came across this lyric from the unfinished play Death The Musical<\/i>, which caught my eye and made me smile.<\/p>\n
It has a beautiful melody by John Du Prez, which probably deserves a less ironic lyric.<\/p>\n
In my usual way I have given the lyrics a polish.\u00a0\u00a0 Is it still unfinished?<\/p>\n
In the play we had a character called Diva attending the funeral of a close friend and here she imagines her own death\u2026<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
The whole world holds its breath tonight<\/p>\n
Around the planet news is flying<\/p>\n
Hold the front page, hush the stage<\/p>\n
Diva\u2019s dying!<\/p>\n
We interrupt your world tonight<\/p>\n
The sad word is just coming through<\/p>\n
Apparently it\u2019s really true<\/p>\n
She\u2019s left us, she\u2019s bereft us<\/p>\n
Whatever will we do?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the day a Diva dies<\/p>\n
The birds fall silent in the trees<\/p>\n
Journalists fall to their knees<\/p>\n
Everybody grieves<\/p>\n
Nobody believes<\/p>\n
A Diva can just die.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Can it be even true the evening news man said<\/p>\n
The world can go on turning now that Diva\u2019s dead?<\/p>\n
The Broadway lights will all shut down<\/p>\n
A silence falls in New York town<\/p>\n
All Government suspended<\/p>\n
A Diva\u2019s life has ended.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Three days my body lies in State<\/p>\n
While the beautiful and great<\/p>\n
Around the block all stand and wait<\/p>\n
To see me lying there.<\/p>\n
Oprah will officiate<\/p>\n
While Deepak Choprah mourns my fate<\/p>\n
And tells us to appreciate<\/p>\n
The gifts I came to share.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the day a Diva dies<\/p>\n
The skies will rain quite magically<\/p>\n
And people will look tragically<\/p>\n
As off in her coffin she slowly trundles by.<\/p>\n
Sir Elton John will sing along<\/p>\n
A brand new Paul McCartney song<\/p>\n
And of course our own dear Cher<\/p>\n
Will wear some brand new hair.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And there is me at center stage<\/p>\n
Not even looking half my age<\/p>\n
All peaceful while emotions rage,<\/p>\n
But who will sing my final prayer?<\/p>\n
Not Madonna I don\u2019t want her there,<\/p>\n
Joni is too bony and Barbara won\u2019t dare<\/p>\n
And what in heaven\u2019s name,<\/p>\n
Am I going to wear?<\/p>\n
Maybe Tom Ford, Prada,<\/p>\n
Surely something white?<\/p>\n
Valentino\u2019s good, but Chanel is best at night<\/p>\n
And hell I\u2019ll need some make up<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t want to look a fright.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
And then what sort of casket?<\/p>\n
It must be something cute,<\/p>\n
One doesn\u2019t want to look<\/p>\n
Just like a basket of old fruit.<\/p>\n
Metallic coffins are quite in<\/p>\n
Perhaps bronze or even tin?<\/p>\n
Or maybe, this could be a first,<\/p>\n
There\u2019s plenty of room in \u2018em,<\/p>\n
Have something in aluminum<\/p>\n
Designed by Damien Hirst.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Which Funeral Director will they pick?<\/p>\n
Scorsese perhaps or Coppola<\/p>\n
They might do the trick.<\/p>\n
Mike Nichols is too busy<\/p>\n
Spielberg\u2019s far too slow<\/p>\n
Tarantino is too dizzy<\/p>\n
Maybe Clint Eastwood<\/p>\n
Would be very good<\/p>\n
For this particular show<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
On the day a Diva dies<\/p>\n
A pale white horse with empty boots<\/p>\n
Awaits the final gun salutes<\/p>\n
In Arlington I\u2019m underground<\/p>\n
Where only the finest of<\/p>\n
Dead people can be found.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
They\u2019ll carve a marble statuette<\/p>\n
So everybody can regret<\/p>\n
And fans and pilgrims can give thanks<\/p>\n
And make donations from their banks<\/p>\n
For the life I led.<\/p>\n
They\u2019ll sell my albums and CD\u2019s<\/p>\n
And glossy new biographies<\/p>\n
And boxes of my DVD’s<\/p>\n
So they\u2019ll remember me.<\/p>\n
And though I never went to Mass<\/p>\n
They\u2019ll paint my portrait in stained glass<\/p>\n
And maybe, though it may seem quaint,<\/p>\n
One can but hope, perhaps the Pope will make me a Saint.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Too far?\u00a0 Perhaps, considering the naughty life I led.<\/p>\n
But thank heavens Fred<\/p>\n
It\u2019s only you, not me, who\u2019s lying dead.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
c) Eric Idle July 2013<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I always say there is no such thing as bad work, only unfinished work. I\u2019m not sure if that\u2019s true but I came across this lyric from the unfinished play Death The Musical, which caught my eye and made me smile. It has a beautiful melody by John Du Prez, which probably deserves a less […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-488","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/488","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=488"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/488\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":489,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/488\/revisions\/489"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=488"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=488"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.ericidle.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=488"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}